So before I even start this, I need to preface this post by saying that infertility makes you CRAZY! 🙂

Anyway, with that being said, I decided to do a small post on things that I think are “signs” around me. I’m sure at this point most of this stuff is me overthinking, because as I said, infertility makes you a crazy person who literally overthinks everything.

I didn’t write a post last night (Sunday) when I normally would, because quite honestly, I couldn’t think of anything good to write about. I don’t really want to write a post just for the sake of writing one. However, this morning on my way to the fertility doctor’s, the music that played gave me lots of signs.

Music is so incredibly powerful, and in fact, my cousin/BFF suggested I do a post on the music I listen to when I’m feeling down, or to get me through tough times. While I love the idea, to be honest, I can’t remember a single thing I did after Scarlett much less any music I listened to. I also haven’t really had anything I’ve found to be particularly amazing while I’ve been dealing with this.

The only thing I have listened to pretty consistently is The Bobby Bones Show. It’s an amazing syndicated country radio morning show that plays on my home station in DC. I am obsessed with how incredibly positive that show is, and how their whole message is to stay positive in times of struggle. It is literal perfection for someone dealing with infertility. Anyway….that isn’t the point of this post, but that show needs a shout out always because everyone on it is awesome. (Not to mention his co-host Amy has dealt with infertility a LOT in the past).

 

Anyway! This morning I got in my car and I was so tired and annoyed because daylight savings time just happened this weekend, meaning it basically looked like the dead of night when I left my house at 6am. When I got in the car, the radio was on commercial, so I plugged my phone in to listen to a few songs on Pandora, and figured I’d unplug and listen to Bobby Bones soon after. (No judging my music, guys! haha) So, lately, I’ve been on this kick of listening to music from my years in high school. I made a “Yellowcard” station on Pandora, and it gives me all the emo kid feels. Naturally, this station was on when I plugged in my phone.

The first song that came on was “Hold On” by Good Charlotte. Now, for those of you that don’t know this really emo song from the early 2000’s, it is essentially written to promote awareness of suicide in teens and how things get better. The chorus says: Hold on when you feel like letting go, hold on it gets better than you know, don’t stop looking you’re one step closer, don’t stop searching it’s not over. 

Again, I know this song isn’t necessarily about what I made it about, but I couldn’t help but think it was such a good sign to come on while I was driving there in such an annoyed mood.

Then, I decided to unplug my phone and listen to the radio. The song that came on as I unplugged my phone was, “Everything’s Gonna Be Alright” by Kenny Chesney. This one’s chorus says: Everything’s gonna be alright, nobody’s gotta worry ’bout nothin’, don’t go hittin’ that panic button, it ain’t worth spillin’ your drink.

Kenny Chesney might be seen as a total “beach bum” kind of guy and a bit obnoxious how he takes that persona on (all of which is kind of true); but that REALLY seemed like a sign to be the very next song I heard.

As I kept driving, Bobby Bones came back on the radio and they talked for a minute or so, then went to commercial. At this point, I was feeling a bit better and I was definitely feeling hopeful. It seemed super weird that I heard two songs about things ending up being okay in the end. After they came back from commercial though, I decided I HAD to write this post tonight. One cool thing that Bobby Bones does, is he plays music that he likes by country artists, even if the songs aren’t super popular on the radio normally. Now he doesn’t do that all the time (mostly because I doubt he is honestly allowed to), but when he does I always like hearing it. This morning he played a song I had never heard before (maybe it’s popular and I’m just behind the times, but I don’t think so).

“Rainbow” by Kacey Musgraves. As anyone in the infertility community knows (and probably anyone with a Facebook), a “rainbow baby” is a baby that you have after a “storm,” (a loss or miscarriage). I’m not a HUGE fan of the term, but I do really like the meaning behind it, so I use it anyway – haha!

If you don’t know this song, PLEASE have a listen here

The chorus goes like this: Well the sky is finally open, the rain and wind stopped blowin’, but you’re stuck out in the same old storm again, you hold on tight to your umbrella, darlin’ I’m just tryin’ to tell ya, that there’s always been a rainbow hangin’ over your head

I mean, really you guys, this happened to me this morning. I couldn’t make this up if I tried.

I am REALLY hoping these are all good signs, and not just my mind playing tricks.

 

Last but not least, quick update: my next FET is now next Monday, March 18th! Only one week away! Everyone send all your baby dust, thoughts, and prayers my way for a sticky embryo!!! 🙂 If this works, I’ll be due exactly 17 days before my due date with Scarlett <3

 

Thanks for reading, all!

xoxo